Why Midlife Weight Gain Is Not a Failure of Discipline

I have to admit, I was genuinely surprised when I started noticing weight gain at the beginning of my 60s. And to be fair, there was a lot going on at the time. Still, it caught me off guard. I had gone through my 50s actually losing weight after adopting a whole food, plant-based lifestyle. My exercise routine wasn’t extreme, but it was consistent, daily movement that I enjoyed. My weight had been rock steady for more than ten years.

Then one day, I pulled on a familiar pair of pants and… they felt tighter. Naturally, I did what any reasonable person would do - I blamed the dryer. Clearly, it had shrunk my pants. Except these weren’t new pants. And they had never shrunk before. So that explanation didn’t hold up. I was looking for someone - or something - to blame, and the dryer was my first suspect.

But then the more uncomfortable thought crept in: Oh no… could I have actually gained weight?

Around that time, I had been through a cancer diagnosis and surgery. My mom had passed away. We were coming out of COVID, with all of our adult children moving back in with us—along with four cats. Stress? Yes. A lot of it.

On top of that, I had my thyroid removed and was now relying on medication to mimic what my thyroid used to do naturally. I had already made it through menopause with very few side effects, which I honestly credit to my diet, but now, with prolonged stress, cancer recovery, and an artificial thyroid, something clearly shifted.

So, I started digging into the research.

What I learned was eye-opening. All of those physical and emotional stressors were quietly telling my body to store energy, without consulting me first. And the most frustrating part? I hadn’t really changed my diet or my exercise routine at all.

I kept asking myself: Do I need to diet? Exercise more? What did I do wrong? I was confused and, frankly, a little frustrated.

After a lot of research and honest self-reflection, I realized the issue wasn’t control or discipline. My body’s physiological needs had changed, but my nutrition and movement hadn’t changed with them. The proportions of protein, fiber, carbohydrates, and fat that had worked beautifully for years needed to be adjusted—not restricted, just redistributed. And exercise didn’t need to be more; it needed to be different.

This wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t a willpower problem. It was biology.

And that’s exactly why I wanted to write this blog. Because I wish someone had told me this sooner. So now, I’m sharing what I learned with you.

Let’s begin by getting one thing out of the way right off the bat.  If you’re gaining weight in midlife, 👉 you are not lazy,  👉 you are not undisciplined, 👉 you did not “lose your willpower”

Your body didn’t suddenly forget how to behave.  It changed the rules.  And nobody told you.

The lie we’ve all been sold

For years, women have been told: “If the scale goes up, you must be eating too much or moving too little.”

So, when weight shifts happen in your 40s, 50s, and 60s the automatic response is:

• Eat less

• Try harder

• Tighten the rules

• Blame yourself

But here’s the truth bomb:

👉 Midlife weight gain is largely a biological shift ---- not a discipline problem.

What actually changes in midlife (plain English version)

During perimenopause and menopause, several things happen at once:

🔄 Hormones fluctuate

Estrogen doesn’t just decline, it becomes unpredictable. This affects:

·      Where fat is stored (hello belly)

• Insulin sensitivity (light headedness, brain fog)

• Appetite and fullness cues (no matter how much you eat you still want more)

Research shows these hormonal changes are associated with increases in fat mass, even without big changes in calorie intake (Greendale et al., 2019).

🔥 Muscle mass declines (unless we actively protect it)

After about age 40, muscle mass tends to decrease gradually, and muscle is metabolically active tissue.

Less muscle = fewer calories burned at rest.

This means your body may need different fuel, not just less food and the scale can change even when habits haven’t (Hunter et al., 2016)

⚠️ Stress hormones hit harder

Midlife often comes with more stress, less sleep, and a more reactive nervous system.

👉 Higher cortisol (stress hormone) is linked to increased abdominal fat storage and altered appetite regulation (Epel et al., 2000).  This means that your body becomes more sensitive to stress signals and stress tells the body to store, not shrink.

Why “eat less and move more” backfires now

When you respond to midlife changes by restricting food:

• Cortisol goes up

• Muscle loss can increase

• Metabolism can slow

• Cravings get louder

Dieting harder often tells the body “Resources are scarce. Hold onto everything.”  That’s not a discipline problem. That’s a survival response.

The new way to think about midlife weight

Instead of asking:❌ “How do I get smaller?”

Try asking:✅ “How do I support my metabolism now?”

That shift changes everything.

What actually helps (no extremes required)?

Here’s what science and real life agree on:

🌿 Eat to support blood sugar: This means balanced meals with fiber, protein, whole-food carbohydrates help reduce insulin spikes and stress chemistry (Reynolds et al., 2019). You need all three along with healthy fats!

💪 Protect muscle: This means strength training + enough protein helps preserve lean mass, support metabolic health and improve body composition over time (Hunter et al., 2016).  You definitely need to increase your protein intake at each meal. This means healthy, plant-based protein.  Remember, all protein comes from plants. Yes, meat has protein but that comes from the plants they consume. Try cutting out the middle man.

This is about function and resilience, not shrinking yourself.

🌱 Feed the gut: This means consuming a fiber-rich diets that supports lower inflammation, better insulin sensitivity, and improved metabolic health. Increase your fiber intake gradually to avoid upsetting the gut bacteria.  You want to feed the good guys and starve the bad ones.

Remember, your gut bacteria play a role in how energy is used and stored so if you feed them the right food this will directly fix your biological health (Mayer et al., 2015).

😴 Respect stress and sleep

Never underestimate the impact of a good night’s sleep.  Poor sleep and chronic stress are strongly linked to weight changes independent of calories (Epel et al., 2000).

Rest is not optional. It’s metabolic support.

The biggest reframe of all

Midlife weight gain is not a moral issue.

It’s not about discipline.

It’s about biology asking for different inputs.

When you stop fighting your body and start supporting it, things often stabilize, not overnight, but sustainably.

Want a gentle place to start (no food shame involved)?

I don’t want you to go through what I went through. So, that’s exactly why I created my FREE 7-Day Serotonin Reset Plan.  This is personal for me. When I discover something that helps me, I usually want to shout it from the rooftops.  But I know that wanting to know something must come from within. This isn’t a miracle worker but simply something that helped me get back on track and address what my body now needs.

What is the goal of this plan?  It’s to calm stress chemistry, support gut–brain balance, stabilize mood and energy and use whole-food, plant-based meals that nourish instead of restricting.

No tracking. No punishment. No “starting over on Monday.” Just support.  If it’s something you would want to check it out, then see below.

👉 Download the FREE 7-Day Serotonin Reset: CLICK HERE

Scientific References

• Greendale, G. A., et al. (2019). Changes in body composition and weight during the menopause transition. JCI Insight, 4(5).

• Hunter, G. R., et al. (2016). Age-related changes in body composition and metabolic rate. Current Obesity Reports, 5(3), 344–353.

• Epel, E. S., et al. (2000). Stress and body shape: cortisol secretion and fat distribution. Psychosomatic Medicine, 62(5), 623–632.

• Reynolds, A., et al. (2019). Carbohydrate quality and human health. The Lancet, 393(10170), 434–445.

• Mayer, E. A., Tillisch, K., & Gupta, A. (2015). Gut–brain axis and the microbiota. Journal of Clinical Investigation, 125(3), 926–938.